My dysfunctional family — Part 1
My parents lost their beloved son, age 8, in an unfortunate road accident during an unplanned journey, on the ominous 27th November, 1986. From whatever I have heard from relatives about him, He was a topper, very talented & brilliant boy, the apple of my Mom’s eyes. His death left my parents desperate & traumatized for years. Following years of the accident in which my parents were lucky enough to not lose both their children or themselves, they became the permanent members of the Grief Club without any membership fee. They got so occupied in that club that they almost forgot about their daughter who was too little to even express herself how lonely she felt without her brother. Blame is the most easily accessible defense mechanism of humans. When we are unable to find cause behind an incident, or when we find accepting our mistakes too tough then we go into denial mode & just fucking blame the readily available person or thing. My sister gets blamed & demeaned for my brother’s death even after 34 years of his death. Maa, Papa! Maybe I don’t know your feeling of losing your beloved son as I am not a mother yet, but I don’t understand not loving & blaming your alive lonely daughter because of your dead son.
I have no right to say or judge anything about my parents’ situation as I was yet to be born. I never got the chance to sit with them while they were grieving and let them cry on my shoulder whole night without uttering a word. I was not there, maybe in some other world, waiting to be dropped like an atomic bomb. The Vermas’ started expecting another girl! Yeah! a Girl! I am so old when pre-natal sex determination was still legal in India. Due to some pregnancy related complicacy, my parents had to abort the plan of aborting me as they did not want another girl child. Unfortunately, I dropped in on a cold, lazy Sunday afternoon of December, pink, bald & super hungry. Do not quote me on this as I am writing these descriptions from the stories I have heard growing up.
Read Part 2 :
https://supriya-verma2009.medium.com/my-dysfunctional-family-part-2-656b4e1cca2f
